I... you do? That's good. I mean... uh, sorry. [ Blitz shakes his head; stop being an idiot. Don't mess things up! ] I know you lost so much, and that you don't blame me but I couldn't help but feel responsible. Helping you, though, I didn't do it because I felt like I owed it to you but I wanted to.
[ ... Blitz pauses, sighs and scratches at a horn as he continues. This isn't easy; Stolas was right they're pretty shit at talking but here they are. They're not screaming and nobody is crying. Well, Blitz still might but for a different reason. This line of memory isn't one he's fond of but he wants Stolas to know that. ]
'Cause I know what it's like to lose everything, and not have anyone. That's not somethin' I'd wish on you. Or anyone, but you? No I... couldn't.
[ A deep, shaking breath. ]
You mean so much to me, and it kinda scares me shitless a little bit.
[ a lot, actually. Blitz isn't sure if he remembers what was said at the pool that day but it still applies. ]
[ Oh Blitz. ] We both knew we would get in trouble for me lending you my grimoire if we were discovered. It was hardly something I could allow you to face alone, especially when I saw that you were about to be executed. Even through it all, I never felt what you were doing for me was out of obligation or a debt to be repaid.
[ He just... he couldn't fully bring himself to believe that Blitz had feelings for him, the same ones Stolas harbored. Losing Octavia tore at his heart and dragged him down with each passing day. There is no regret in saving Blitz's life, even when he'd thought his own head would be on the chopping block next. Right now, he's so grateful to be in a place where he can have this talk with Blitz to start something new - something real. ]
I may have saved your life in that trial, but you saved mine in so many other ways. Living without my powers, my title, my empty manor - those aren't the things I can't live without. You showed me what a home is supposed to be, finally gave me the courage to break free from Stella, literally saved me from an assassin.
[ Twice, even if Blitz had only sent Millie and Moxxie the second time. They are part of Blitz's family who risked their lives for his. ]
You aren't alone in being scared, as I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it all up and push you too fast. Too far out of reach. Yet I'm willing to risk it if you are, Blitzy.
[ So much was said then, so much came out wrong or had bad timing. His fingers brush over one of Blitz's horns, softly and so gentle. Stolas' smile is warm and happy - happier than it's been in a while. ]
Will you be my boyfriend? [ No matter how big their confessions might be, he doesn't want to jump ahead. Start small and work their way up. However... ]
And my top? [ There's some of the horny bird that Blitz knows as he trills out the question as a seduction. ]
I know. [ They'd never really made an effort of being secretive - once that cat had been let out of the bag by him literally crashing his bitch ex's party, Grimoire in hand, well that was that. They'd even went out together once and the less said about the fiasco at Ozzie's the better.
It was all a big risk from the start. ] I... I'm glad for that. I never want you to feel like you were burdening me.
[ And now. It's time for him to listen. Which he does, heart beating somewhere in his throat as Stolas talks. He talks of Blitz and the things he'd helped him, the ways he felt saved by him and he's sure that the doubts and hatred will come crawling back as they always do. But like when Millie had expressed a similar sentiment... maybe he could believe. You saved me, he said. ]
You've saved me, too. Not just at the trial but you know me. I was going down a path I -- You saw people at that party, know my reputation. I push people away. I push them away cause I'm hurt and I'm... [ scared ] but you made me want to change, and to not be that person anymore.
[ A deep breath. ]
I... yes. I do want this, I mean.
[ And he can't help it, bursts out laughing. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he reaches forward to pull the bird in for a long, passionate kiss. ]
That answer that question? Fuck yes I'll be your boyfriend. And top.
[ Truthfully, it had been hilarious as fuck to him. Hearing the crash of Blitz's exit and the unapologetic apology. It had been such an expression of freedom that Stolas couldn't help but follow by announcing their divorce.
He's always felt like that with Blitz, a taste of the freedom he could really have if he just reached for it. Definitely not an easy undertaking, and there are regrets but they're here now. ]
I'm happy to be your reason, but I also hope that you also want to change for yourself someday.
[ Just like Blitz, he holds on to the idea of changing for Octavia and his imp - but knows how devastating it is to lose that. That's enough serious talk, though. Stolas won't push the subject because there are other reasons to be happy for.
There's a small hoot of surprise at the kiss but he sinks into it easily enough. Hands caressing that beautiful face he loves so much. He laughs at the words, leaning in close and wrapping both arms around Blitz's neck. ]
Did you know that I visited a sex shop for the first time ever? [ Horny bird is still horny, news at 11. But also excited to do things he's never done before! ]
[ Well, he's glad that it entertained Stolas - he thought he was gonna die in that moment. Half naked, and covered in cake, clutching that magic book in the middle of a garden party full of powerful nobles in Hell? But he'd recovered enough to run off before anyone could react.
And that it had given Stolas inspiration, to allow him to feel free and give him the voice to announce his divorce (he'd heard that maniacal cackle as he fled the gardens, good for you, birdie). ]
It's just easier... to make it about someone else. Think you probably get that, though.
[ Cause if it was changing for himself? He's not sure he'd care enough to try: he gave up on himself a long time ago. Eventually he'll realize that these things come together. But enough of that. His eyes widen slightly as he mentions the sex shop. ]
[ ...
1. There's a sex shop here?
2. Stolas went without him?
3. Stolas went to a sex shop.
Blitz lets out a small purr that betrays his excitement. ]
There's my horny bird. You wanna... show me whatcha got, Stols or you gonna leave me in suspense?
[ Please, Stella would never get her hands dirty with such things. She'd hire an assassin - which she did but to kill Stolas instead.
Still, Blitz was inspirational right when Stolas needed it most. ]
I do understand that. You do the same for me, make it easier to want to change.
[ Both Blitz and Octavia gave him the strength he needed to start and when he does feel like it's too much - too hard, he knows they're right there for him. That he doesn't have to do any of this alone.
He can practically see the thoughts processing in Blitz's mind. Now is when he leans more into the imp, arms sliding to rest over his shoulders until they're pressed together. ]
Hm, now I'm regretting not picking out one of those sex swings~
[ It's a playful tease because they can always go get one if they want. Still, he does pull away to slide a nice trunk out from under the bed that has a lock on it. Loona and Octavia would know better than to look in it, but Snow would need to be told first.
Inside is quite the collection of restraints, toys, and various kinds of paddles. ]
[ It's probably for the best in some way that Stolas never mentioned knowing who was behind those attacks, cause that trial for trying to kill a Goetia might've been real. Stupid icy bitch. ]
Yeah. You get it.
[ He has family, he has support and friends - people he can rely on and trust to have his back. Maybe eventually he'll start to want to make those changes for himself as well, though.
He shifts through the box, picking up an item here and there - his eyes getting big like saucers. He picks up a paddle and smacks it against his hand once or twice, grinning at the sting. Nice heft. ]
[ His eyes turn to Stolas. ]
Maybe if he's good today, I'll take my dirty bird to go pick out some new toys.
[ His eyes beg the questioning: is this what you want? ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ ... Blitz pauses, sighs and scratches at a horn as he continues. This isn't easy; Stolas was right they're pretty shit at talking but here they are. They're not screaming and nobody is crying. Well, Blitz still might but for a different reason. This line of memory isn't one he's fond of but he wants Stolas to know that. ]
'Cause I know what it's like to lose everything, and not have anyone. That's not somethin' I'd wish on you. Or anyone, but you? No I... couldn't.
[ A deep, shaking breath. ]
You mean so much to me, and it kinda scares me shitless a little bit.
[ a lot, actually. Blitz isn't sure if he remembers what was said at the pool that day but it still applies. ]
But uh, you're my heart.
no subject
[ He just... he couldn't fully bring himself to believe that Blitz had feelings for him, the same ones Stolas harbored. Losing Octavia tore at his heart and dragged him down with each passing day. There is no regret in saving Blitz's life, even when he'd thought his own head would be on the chopping block next. Right now, he's so grateful to be in a place where he can have this talk with Blitz to start something new - something real. ]
I may have saved your life in that trial, but you saved mine in so many other ways. Living without my powers, my title, my empty manor - those aren't the things I can't live without. You showed me what a home is supposed to be, finally gave me the courage to break free from Stella, literally saved me from an assassin.
[ Twice, even if Blitz had only sent Millie and Moxxie the second time. They are part of Blitz's family who risked their lives for his. ]
You aren't alone in being scared, as I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it all up and push you too fast. Too far out of reach. Yet I'm willing to risk it if you are, Blitzy.
[ So much was said then, so much came out wrong or had bad timing. His fingers brush over one of Blitz's horns, softly and so gentle. Stolas' smile is warm and happy - happier than it's been in a while. ]
Will you be my boyfriend? [ No matter how big their confessions might be, he doesn't want to jump ahead. Start small and work their way up. However... ]
And my top? [ There's some of the horny bird that Blitz knows as he trills out the question as a seduction. ]
no subject
It was all a big risk from the start. ] I... I'm glad for that. I never want you to feel like you were burdening me.
[ And now. It's time for him to listen. Which he does, heart beating somewhere in his throat as Stolas talks. He talks of Blitz and the things he'd helped him, the ways he felt saved by him and he's sure that the doubts and hatred will come crawling back as they always do. But like when Millie had expressed a similar sentiment... maybe he could believe. You saved me, he said. ]
You've saved me, too. Not just at the trial but you know me. I was going down a path I -- You saw people at that party, know my reputation. I push people away. I push them away cause I'm hurt and I'm... [ scared ] but you made me want to change, and to not be that person anymore.
[ A deep breath. ]
I... yes. I do want this, I mean.
[ And he can't help it, bursts out laughing. Wiping the tears from his eyes, he reaches forward to pull the bird in for a long, passionate kiss. ]
That answer that question? Fuck yes I'll be your boyfriend. And top.
no subject
He's always felt like that with Blitz, a taste of the freedom he could really have if he just reached for it. Definitely not an easy undertaking, and there are regrets but they're here now. ]
I'm happy to be your reason, but I also hope that you also want to change for yourself someday.
[ Just like Blitz, he holds on to the idea of changing for Octavia and his imp - but knows how devastating it is to lose that. That's enough serious talk, though. Stolas won't push the subject because there are other reasons to be happy for.
There's a small hoot of surprise at the kiss but he sinks into it easily enough. Hands caressing that beautiful face he loves so much. He laughs at the words, leaning in close and wrapping both arms around Blitz's neck. ]
Did you know that I visited a sex shop for the first time ever? [ Horny bird is still horny, news at 11. But also excited to do things he's never done before! ]
no subject
And that it had given Stolas inspiration, to allow him to feel free and give him the voice to announce his divorce (he'd heard that maniacal cackle as he fled the gardens, good for you, birdie). ]
It's just easier... to make it about someone else. Think you probably get that, though.
[ Cause if it was changing for himself? He's not sure he'd care enough to try: he gave up on himself a long time ago. Eventually he'll realize that these things come together. But enough of that. His eyes widen slightly as he mentions the sex shop. ]
[ ...
1. There's a sex shop here?
2. Stolas went without him?
3. Stolas went to a sex shop.
Blitz lets out a small purr that betrays his excitement. ]
There's my horny bird. You wanna... show me whatcha got, Stols or you gonna leave me in suspense?
no subject
Still, Blitz was inspirational right when Stolas needed it most. ]
I do understand that. You do the same for me, make it easier to want to change.
[ Both Blitz and Octavia gave him the strength he needed to start and when he does feel like it's too much - too hard, he knows they're right there for him. That he doesn't have to do any of this alone.
He can practically see the thoughts processing in Blitz's mind. Now is when he leans more into the imp, arms sliding to rest over his shoulders until they're pressed together. ]
Hm, now I'm regretting not picking out one of those sex swings~
[ It's a playful tease because they can always go get one if they want. Still, he does pull away to slide a nice trunk out from under the bed that has a lock on it. Loona and Octavia would know better than to look in it, but Snow would need to be told first.
Inside is quite the collection of restraints, toys, and various kinds of paddles. ]
no subject
Yeah. You get it.
[ He has family, he has support and friends - people he can rely on and trust to have his back. Maybe eventually he'll start to want to make those changes for himself as well, though.
He shifts through the box, picking up an item here and there - his eyes getting big like saucers. He picks up a paddle and smacks it against his hand once or twice, grinning at the sting. Nice heft. ]
[ His eyes turn to Stolas. ]
Maybe if he's good today, I'll take my dirty bird to go pick out some new toys.
[ His eyes beg the questioning: is this what you want? ]