[ Stolas has been pacing his room for at least the last hour as he quietly recites what he wants to say to Blitz. He's been doing his best to keep his voice down so that the imp won't be able to hear his panicking (not as if they've been in a similar situation before that turned out badly). Then he finally turns on his heel to head for the door to go for it. What's the worst that could happen?
Right? Right! Maybe the refrigerator will be big enough for him to hide inside of...
What he doesn't expect is to see Blitz standing at his door, looking ready to knock on it. So Stolas is a bit shocked as he gazes down at the imp. No no, do not get caught up in surprise! He is a bird on a mission. ]
Blitz... There is something I wished to ask you. [ He manages to sound normal and not like the anxious bundle of nerves that he feels coursing through his body. ]
[ Wouldn't you know it, that Blitz is currently also on the verge of panicking? Because... he is. A great deal actually. With the news of the ball he'd thought of Stolas and well - he's been trying to gather up the nerve to ask him to be his date for a few days now.
He can do meaningless sex and no attachments without breaking a sweat but this is new territory for the imp who's tried his best to avoid that kind of thing until he'd found himself falling for a prince. And with their history? Stolas might not want to (he'd kissed him; twice but they'd not talked about that) be anything more.
He'd just raised his fist to knock on Stolas' door when it swung open and he forced a smile on his face. ]
Oh, Stolas. Hi, hey! I had something to ask you too, what a coincidence.
[ Stolas has absolutely no idea that Blitz is also freaking out on the other side of the door. A lot has happened in a very short time, they haven't talked about anything that has happened - not in any great length or detail. Not since the night of the Anti-Blitz party.
Their history is rocky at best and tumultuous at its worst, talking about his feelings is not Blitz' strong suit and Stolas has too many to handle at times. It's messy and complicated and if they are going to have anything resembling a romantic relationship, needs plenty of work. Yet he can't just give up hope either. Blitz is the light that cut through the darkness in his life.
It's clear they're both caught off-guard seeing the other on the opposite side of the door, but at the request, he steps back to allow Blitz inside. ]
Of course. [ Besides the furniture the room has a few stacks of books, a pastel scarf hanging from the end of the bed. It's not a lot, but it's a start at making this more of a space he's settled into as home. Once Blitz is in the room, he'll close the door. ]
What did you want to ask? [ If he lets Blitz go first, he'll have more time to calm his racing heart. ]
[ Blitz steps inside the room, it's a bit small for Stolas but he can see the touches of him as sparse as they are. ] Must be a relief to have your own space and an actual bed for your lanky ass again, eh?
[ Despite the beanbag being hardly comfortable he couldn't bring himself to hate the arrangement before in his cramped little apartment. He woke up and Stolas was there the first thing when he woke up - a reminder that the horrible thing that he sometimes still dreamed of, even now hadn't come to pass. He'd tried to make the situation as comfortable as he could and hoped that it at least eased some of his struggle. The imp clears his throat and shakes his head, clearing out the images to focus on the bird in front of him.
Oh uhh, shit. He'd just asked him a question. ]
Uh well. I wanted to ask you - [ ... ] you know what why don't you go first?
[ Small, but far more homey than his large empty had ever felt. ] Having a bed is certainly a lot more comfortable than a couch, though your apartment had far more warmth than my manor did. Some nights it felt... far too large and empty. Especially when Via was with her mother. I do appreciate you giving up for the couch for me.
[ It's a quiet admittance that he had more space than he knew what to do with. That even in his month-long depressive state, how much it meant to wake up or fall asleep to the sight of Blitz on that beanbag in that tiny apartment where three beings were cramped into it. That Blitz had to basically take of his spoiled rich bird ass. ]
Oh w-well... [ Stolas is certainly stumbling over his words, trying desperately to not fuck this up. He turns his face and a blush rises to his cheeks, flushing them black. ] I wondered if you might to perhaps... go to the ball as my date?
Even when it meant waking up to horse cartoons and every morning? [ Blitz chuckles. But he most certainly wasn't gonna leave Stolas out on the street to fend for himself - even if the circumstances of him losing everything were different and not caused by Blitz. He'd been alone after the fire, on his own at his lowest without his family and couldn't let Stolas go through that. He might be an asshole but wasn't a total piece of shit, no matter what gets said about him. ]
You're welcome, Stols. I know we've had our share of... history but I'm here for you when you need it.
[ error Blitz.exe has stopped working. He blinks. Then blinks again before the shocked expression morphs into a pout. ]
What the hell, I wanted to ask you to go with me. Ugh I should've gone first.
Even when it meant waking up to horse cartoons or buried under your plethora of horse plushes. [ Stolas smiles softly, without the hint of pain that has haunted for the entire month. While he knows that something happened to Blitz in the years they didn't see each other, he doesn't know the details of it. Only that it caused a rift between Blitz and the people in his life - that it caused walls to go up. ]
Just as I am always here when you need it. If you should ever... need someone to talk to.
[ His feelings for Blitz haven't changed, even after the fights and history. Yet Stolas can't bring himself to say it at this moment, not when Blitz is staring at him in that way. Anxiety rises up in his chest and doesn't release until the imp finally speaks. Now it's Stolas who stares in shock that Blitz was going to ask him the same question.
With the release of anxiety, Stolas laughs lightly tiny hoots escaping unbidden. ]
Should a situation arise when we both have something to say again, you can go first, Blitzy. [ The return of the nickname, it's said softly with a lot of affection. ]
Careful. You might just find yourself under a horse pile when you least expect it. [ The corners of his mouth quirk slightly; maybe his horse collection here isn't as vast but there's enough for an emergency horse cuddle sesh if need be. ]
Thanks.
[ And maybe... the idea of perhaps eventually taking him up on that doesn't feel quite so terrifying - and that's what scares him. Would Stolas still feel that way or want anything to do with him if he knew what he did?
His brief reverie is broken and the fleeting darkness dissipates. His smile softens at the nickname. Before he'd thought that it had been mocking - just another way to degrade and treat him like an itty bitty imp. Now Blitz knows better. ]
You haven't called me that in a long time.
[ ... ]
So that's definitely a yes, then. In case me wanting to ask the same thing didn't make that clear; I want to go with you.
I do believe if I survived it once, I will again. [ It's endearing, how much Blitz loves horses and collects plushes of them. Surprising the first time he woke up like that, but knowing that Blitz had shared something he's passionate about warms his hollow bones. ]
You're welcome.
[ Blitz has seen the disaster that was Stolas' life for the most part. He also knows something happened in the imp's life, the scars alone are proof of that. The conversation on the balcony, Ozzie's words about the history with Fizzarolli and the way all the photos on the wall have Blitz's image scribbled out. It paints a picture of something tragic.
Oh, he wasn't entirely sure the nickname would be accepted considering the ways he had used it prior to everything changing. Seeing Blitz's face soften that way eases the rest of the anxiety from his chest that he started all this with. It's not perfect, and they've a long way to go, but it gives him hope that they can get through this. ]
I haven't. You... [ Stolas starts and stops that sentence, it feels Too Big right now. To say that Blitz is the light that cut through the darkness that was his existence with Stella. ] Being here with you and Via makes me happy.
[ It feels smaller, despite it being anything but that. The only thing that would make this place better is Blitz having the rest of his family here too (how nice that Loona's return isn't far off either). He leans down to brush a hand over Blitz's cheek gently, affectionately. ]
Yes, I quite gathered that but clarity is important. You'll have to be creative again.
[ They live in the same house, it's ridiculous to call Blitz even if it became habit during the early days of their mutual gain exchange. Yet he feels the urge and squashes it down quickly, despite this pertaining to their sex life... or current lack thereof. They haven't even gone to the ball yet, it's barely been a week since that conversation.
Yet here's Stolas, finding Blitz somewhere private away from the girls because this is an adult conversation. It's more than just finding out how vulnerable he might be now, it's also the fact that he misses Blitz. Being intimate with him, waking up next to him, laying pressed together even in the aftermath of sex. The feeling of elation bursting from his chest just being together. If it was just about finding if he has limitations to go with his banishment, there are other people and other ways to discover that.
Maybe, hopefully, Blitz feels the same way. ]
Blitzy, when you came to rescue me from Andrealphus you called me your "bottom". I know that I have been in no state to discuss the shape of our relationship since the trial but... did you mean it? Do you still want me that way?
[ To say that Blitz is taken aback by the sudden question would be an understatement - even if it's been a subject that's crossed his mind once or twice or maybe many, many more times. But that's Blitz, he's never been sure when or where that topic should be breached - the history between them is complicated. He doesn't want it to be but it is and after the trial, he's not wrong; it wasn't a good time to bring any of that up. Stolas wasn't in a good place and worse with what happened at Sinsmas. So it had been shelved and Blitz tried to be content with simply having him in the same room as him.
Even during the deal days, the nights where he would accidentally fall asleep after their rounds of marathon sex were some of the best nights of sleep he'd had in a long time.
But things feel... hopeful now. It's got him sometimes waiting for that other shoe to drop for everything to crumble away into dust... though that voice, that fear seems easier to quiet these days. And Stolas being the one to ask furthers it that much more.
It doesn't stop him from dropping the figurine he'd had in his hands, though. Whoops. The words. They come spilling out before he can parse his thoughts. ]
Fuck, Stols.
I was trying so hard to be respectful and give you the space you needed; I didn't know where you stood with me anymore but... it drove me crazy to have you so close to me every night when I wanted nothing more to crawl in beside you. And I just...
Yes. I still want you in that way, or whatever way you'll have me! But uh, I really hope that it's the same way cause then this conversation would be really fuckin' awkward.
[ There is a time and place for this conversation and it certainly wasn't back there in the space between Stolas' whole life getting flipped upside-down and then his heart breaking over Via. Things are better here. He still doesn't have his authority or power, but that's a sacrifice he's willing to make if that's what it took to save Blitz's life. Via is talking to him, letting him get close and be a better father.
It isn't perfect, he's still got a lot of personal shit to work through concerning Stella and ice bitch. Years of an unhappy and verbally abusive marriage. But he's taking the steps to get through it properly by speaking with someone.
Their deal worked for them at the start, he had a glimpse at happiness whenever they were together or he knew Blitz was coming over. Of course he'd wanted more, something real and romantic but it worked for a while. He'd felt alive again.
So yeah, they've got a lot of things to talk about and maybe they'll fuck it up a bit. But Stolas is still willing to try, to put his heart on the line and make this work around their fear and that stupid voice that exists in their head that they can't make go away.
Both of his hands reach out to cup Blitz's face, leaning down until their foreheads are pressed together. ]
Thank you for that, Blitzy. It was space I needed, even if I missed you more than almost anything. [ Via came first and he knows Blitz won't have a problem with that. There's room in his life for both of them. ]
I do still want you, in all the ways I did before. Lucifer knows, I still do. Every part of our physical relationship and more. You're my light, Blitzy, and we might be idiots who can't always say how we're feeling properly, but I want to try.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action;
Right? Right! Maybe the refrigerator will be big enough for him to hide inside of...
What he doesn't expect is to see Blitz standing at his door, looking ready to knock on it. So Stolas is a bit shocked as he gazes down at the imp. No no, do not get caught up in surprise! He is a bird on a mission. ]
Blitz... There is something I wished to ask you. [ He manages to sound normal and not like the anxious bundle of nerves that he feels coursing through his body. ]
lets fucking goooooooooo
He can do meaningless sex and no attachments without breaking a sweat but this is new territory for the imp who's tried his best to avoid that kind of thing until he'd found himself falling for a prince. And with their history? Stolas might not want to (he'd kissed him; twice but they'd not talked about that) be anything more.
He'd just raised his fist to knock on Stolas' door when it swung open and he forced a smile on his face. ]
Oh, Stolas. Hi, hey! I had something to ask you too, what a coincidence.
Can Iiiii come in?
[ ... ]
these fucking idiots in love
Their history is rocky at best and tumultuous at its worst, talking about his feelings is not Blitz' strong suit and Stolas has too many to handle at times. It's messy and complicated and if they are going to have anything resembling a romantic relationship, needs plenty of work. Yet he can't just give up hope either. Blitz is the light that cut through the darkness in his life.
It's clear they're both caught off-guard seeing the other on the opposite side of the door, but at the request, he steps back to allow Blitz inside. ]
Of course. [ Besides the furniture the room has a few stacks of books, a pastel scarf hanging from the end of the bed. It's not a lot, but it's a start at making this more of a space he's settled into as home. Once Blitz is in the room, he'll close the door. ]
What did you want to ask? [ If he lets Blitz go first, he'll have more time to calm his racing heart. ]
no subject
[ Despite the beanbag being hardly comfortable he couldn't bring himself to hate the arrangement before in his cramped little apartment. He woke up and Stolas was there the first thing when he woke up - a reminder that the horrible thing that he sometimes still dreamed of, even now hadn't come to pass. He'd tried to make the situation as comfortable as he could and hoped that it at least eased some of his struggle. The imp clears his throat and shakes his head, clearing out the images to focus on the bird in front of him.
Oh uhh, shit. He'd just asked him a question. ]
Uh well. I wanted to ask you - [ ... ] you know what why don't you go first?
no subject
[ It's a quiet admittance that he had more space than he knew what to do with. That even in his month-long depressive state, how much it meant to wake up or fall asleep to the sight of Blitz on that beanbag in that tiny apartment where three beings were cramped into it. That Blitz had to basically take of his spoiled rich bird ass. ]
Oh w-well... [ Stolas is certainly stumbling over his words, trying desperately to not fuck this up. He turns his face and a blush rises to his cheeks, flushing them black. ] I wondered if you might to perhaps... go to the ball as my date?
no subject
You're welcome, Stols. I know we've had our share of... history but I'm here for you when you need it.
[ error Blitz.exe has stopped working. He blinks. Then blinks again before the shocked expression morphs into a pout. ]
What the hell, I wanted to ask you to go with me. Ugh I should've gone first.
Yes I'll go with you, bird brain.
no subject
Just as I am always here when you need it. If you should ever... need someone to talk to.
[ His feelings for Blitz haven't changed, even after the fights and history. Yet Stolas can't bring himself to say it at this moment, not when Blitz is staring at him in that way. Anxiety rises up in his chest and doesn't release until the imp finally speaks. Now it's Stolas who stares in shock that Blitz was going to ask him the same question.
With the release of anxiety, Stolas laughs lightly tiny hoots escaping unbidden. ]
Should a situation arise when we both have something to say again, you can go first, Blitzy. [ The return of the nickname, it's said softly with a lot of affection. ]
no subject
Thanks.
[ And maybe... the idea of perhaps eventually taking him up on that doesn't feel quite so terrifying - and that's what scares him. Would Stolas still feel that way or want anything to do with him if he knew what he did?
His brief reverie is broken and the fleeting darkness dissipates. His smile softens at the nickname. Before he'd thought that it had been mocking - just another way to degrade and treat him like an itty bitty imp. Now Blitz knows better. ]
You haven't called me that in a long time.
[ ... ]
So that's definitely a yes, then. In case me wanting to ask the same thing didn't make that clear; I want to go with you.
no subject
You're welcome.
[ Blitz has seen the disaster that was Stolas' life for the most part. He also knows something happened in the imp's life, the scars alone are proof of that. The conversation on the balcony, Ozzie's words about the history with Fizzarolli and the way all the photos on the wall have Blitz's image scribbled out. It paints a picture of something tragic.
Oh, he wasn't entirely sure the nickname would be accepted considering the ways he had used it prior to everything changing. Seeing Blitz's face soften that way eases the rest of the anxiety from his chest that he started all this with. It's not perfect, and they've a long way to go, but it gives him hope that they can get through this. ]
I haven't. You... [ Stolas starts and stops that sentence, it feels Too Big right now. To say that Blitz is the light that cut through the darkness that was his existence with Stella. ] Being here with you and Via makes me happy.
[ It feels smaller, despite it being anything but that. The only thing that would make this place better is Blitz having the rest of his family here too (how nice that Loona's return isn't far off either). He leans down to brush a hand over Blitz's cheek gently, affectionately. ]
Yes, I quite gathered that but clarity is important. You'll have to be creative again.
action; nsfw conversations.
Yet here's Stolas, finding Blitz somewhere private away from the girls because this is an adult conversation. It's more than just finding out how vulnerable he might be now, it's also the fact that he misses Blitz. Being intimate with him, waking up next to him, laying pressed together even in the aftermath of sex. The feeling of elation bursting from his chest just being together. If it was just about finding if he has limitations to go with his banishment, there are other people and other ways to discover that.
Maybe, hopefully, Blitz feels the same way. ]
Blitzy, when you came to rescue me from Andrealphus you called me your "bottom". I know that I have been in no state to discuss the shape of our relationship since the trial but... did you mean it? Do you still want me that way?
lets fucking gooooo
Even during the deal days, the nights where he would accidentally fall asleep after their rounds of marathon sex were some of the best nights of sleep he'd had in a long time.
But things feel... hopeful now. It's got him sometimes waiting for that other shoe to drop for everything to crumble away into dust... though that voice, that fear seems easier to quiet these days. And Stolas being the one to ask furthers it that much more.
It doesn't stop him from dropping the figurine he'd had in his hands, though. Whoops. The words. They come spilling out before he can parse his thoughts. ]
Fuck, Stols.
I was trying so hard to be respectful and give you the space you needed; I didn't know where you stood with me anymore but... it drove me crazy to have you so close to me every night when I wanted nothing more to crawl in beside you. And I just...
Yes. I still want you in that way, or whatever way you'll have me! But uh, I really hope that it's the same way cause then this conversation would be really fuckin' awkward.
no subject
It isn't perfect, he's still got a lot of personal shit to work through concerning Stella and ice bitch. Years of an unhappy and verbally abusive marriage. But he's taking the steps to get through it properly by speaking with someone.
Their deal worked for them at the start, he had a glimpse at happiness whenever they were together or he knew Blitz was coming over. Of course he'd wanted more, something real and romantic but it worked for a while. He'd felt alive again.
So yeah, they've got a lot of things to talk about and maybe they'll fuck it up a bit. But Stolas is still willing to try, to put his heart on the line and make this work around their fear and that stupid voice that exists in their head that they can't make go away.
Both of his hands reach out to cup Blitz's face, leaning down until their foreheads are pressed together. ]
Thank you for that, Blitzy. It was space I needed, even if I missed you more than almost anything. [ Via came first and he knows Blitz won't have a problem with that. There's room in his life for both of them. ]
I do still want you, in all the ways I did before. Lucifer knows, I still do. Every part of our physical relationship and more. You're my light, Blitzy, and we might be idiots who can't always say how we're feeling properly, but I want to try.