[ They live in the same house, it's ridiculous to call Blitz even if it became habit during the early days of their mutual gain exchange. Yet he feels the urge and squashes it down quickly, despite this pertaining to their sex life... or current lack thereof. They haven't even gone to the ball yet, it's barely been a week since that conversation.
Yet here's Stolas, finding Blitz somewhere private away from the girls because this is an adult conversation. It's more than just finding out how vulnerable he might be now, it's also the fact that he misses Blitz. Being intimate with him, waking up next to him, laying pressed together even in the aftermath of sex. The feeling of elation bursting from his chest just being together. If it was just about finding if he has limitations to go with his banishment, there are other people and other ways to discover that.
Maybe, hopefully, Blitz feels the same way. ]
Blitzy, when you came to rescue me from Andrealphus you called me your "bottom". I know that I have been in no state to discuss the shape of our relationship since the trial but... did you mean it? Do you still want me that way?
[ To say that Blitz is taken aback by the sudden question would be an understatement - even if it's been a subject that's crossed his mind once or twice or maybe many, many more times. But that's Blitz, he's never been sure when or where that topic should be breached - the history between them is complicated. He doesn't want it to be but it is and after the trial, he's not wrong; it wasn't a good time to bring any of that up. Stolas wasn't in a good place and worse with what happened at Sinsmas. So it had been shelved and Blitz tried to be content with simply having him in the same room as him.
Even during the deal days, the nights where he would accidentally fall asleep after their rounds of marathon sex were some of the best nights of sleep he'd had in a long time.
But things feel... hopeful now. It's got him sometimes waiting for that other shoe to drop for everything to crumble away into dust... though that voice, that fear seems easier to quiet these days. And Stolas being the one to ask furthers it that much more.
It doesn't stop him from dropping the figurine he'd had in his hands, though. Whoops. The words. They come spilling out before he can parse his thoughts. ]
Fuck, Stols.
I was trying so hard to be respectful and give you the space you needed; I didn't know where you stood with me anymore but... it drove me crazy to have you so close to me every night when I wanted nothing more to crawl in beside you. And I just...
Yes. I still want you in that way, or whatever way you'll have me! But uh, I really hope that it's the same way cause then this conversation would be really fuckin' awkward.
[ There is a time and place for this conversation and it certainly wasn't back there in the space between Stolas' whole life getting flipped upside-down and then his heart breaking over Via. Things are better here. He still doesn't have his authority or power, but that's a sacrifice he's willing to make if that's what it took to save Blitz's life. Via is talking to him, letting him get close and be a better father.
It isn't perfect, he's still got a lot of personal shit to work through concerning Stella and ice bitch. Years of an unhappy and verbally abusive marriage. But he's taking the steps to get through it properly by speaking with someone.
Their deal worked for them at the start, he had a glimpse at happiness whenever they were together or he knew Blitz was coming over. Of course he'd wanted more, something real and romantic but it worked for a while. He'd felt alive again.
So yeah, they've got a lot of things to talk about and maybe they'll fuck it up a bit. But Stolas is still willing to try, to put his heart on the line and make this work around their fear and that stupid voice that exists in their head that they can't make go away.
Both of his hands reach out to cup Blitz's face, leaning down until their foreheads are pressed together. ]
Thank you for that, Blitzy. It was space I needed, even if I missed you more than almost anything. [ Via came first and he knows Blitz won't have a problem with that. There's room in his life for both of them. ]
I do still want you, in all the ways I did before. Lucifer knows, I still do. Every part of our physical relationship and more. You're my light, Blitzy, and we might be idiots who can't always say how we're feeling properly, but I want to try.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action; nsfw conversations.
Yet here's Stolas, finding Blitz somewhere private away from the girls because this is an adult conversation. It's more than just finding out how vulnerable he might be now, it's also the fact that he misses Blitz. Being intimate with him, waking up next to him, laying pressed together even in the aftermath of sex. The feeling of elation bursting from his chest just being together. If it was just about finding if he has limitations to go with his banishment, there are other people and other ways to discover that.
Maybe, hopefully, Blitz feels the same way. ]
Blitzy, when you came to rescue me from Andrealphus you called me your "bottom". I know that I have been in no state to discuss the shape of our relationship since the trial but... did you mean it? Do you still want me that way?
lets fucking gooooo
Even during the deal days, the nights where he would accidentally fall asleep after their rounds of marathon sex were some of the best nights of sleep he'd had in a long time.
But things feel... hopeful now. It's got him sometimes waiting for that other shoe to drop for everything to crumble away into dust... though that voice, that fear seems easier to quiet these days. And Stolas being the one to ask furthers it that much more.
It doesn't stop him from dropping the figurine he'd had in his hands, though. Whoops. The words. They come spilling out before he can parse his thoughts. ]
Fuck, Stols.
I was trying so hard to be respectful and give you the space you needed; I didn't know where you stood with me anymore but... it drove me crazy to have you so close to me every night when I wanted nothing more to crawl in beside you. And I just...
Yes. I still want you in that way, or whatever way you'll have me! But uh, I really hope that it's the same way cause then this conversation would be really fuckin' awkward.
no subject
It isn't perfect, he's still got a lot of personal shit to work through concerning Stella and ice bitch. Years of an unhappy and verbally abusive marriage. But he's taking the steps to get through it properly by speaking with someone.
Their deal worked for them at the start, he had a glimpse at happiness whenever they were together or he knew Blitz was coming over. Of course he'd wanted more, something real and romantic but it worked for a while. He'd felt alive again.
So yeah, they've got a lot of things to talk about and maybe they'll fuck it up a bit. But Stolas is still willing to try, to put his heart on the line and make this work around their fear and that stupid voice that exists in their head that they can't make go away.
Both of his hands reach out to cup Blitz's face, leaning down until their foreheads are pressed together. ]
Thank you for that, Blitzy. It was space I needed, even if I missed you more than almost anything. [ Via came first and he knows Blitz won't have a problem with that. There's room in his life for both of them. ]
I do still want you, in all the ways I did before. Lucifer knows, I still do. Every part of our physical relationship and more. You're my light, Blitzy, and we might be idiots who can't always say how we're feeling properly, but I want to try.